He Dances With Wheels
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Preface
This is not a tale of gloom and doom. At the age of 32, my husband David was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis (MS). Tremendous things happened to us over the years of his illness. By sharing some of these amazing events, my hope is to encourage and to bring comfort to anyone identifying with our circumstances.
However, I am keenly aware that in telling our story, there is inevitably a risk of generating anxiety. So, I need to stress that if you or your loved one have recently been diagnosed with MS or another neurological disease, please do not assume that your illness will be as disabling as David’s became. His was the most severe form of several types of MS. I knew a lady in her 80s who had led an able-bodied life despite her MS for many decades, although by this age she was using a walking stick when outdoors.
I am also taking a risk as I share the grief and problems of being a carer. Again, let me stress that this is my very personal story. Circumstances and personalities differ. Not all carers reach that state of burnout that I experienced.
I have touched on what could be called a taboo subject in relation to caring. I don’t want anyone who is receiving care from someone they love to read our story and be distressed by my frankness. But how else, other than by being honest about our experiences, can we reassure another carer that they are not alone in facing the challenges of their situation?
I remember my enormous relief when I first read a newsletter of the Carers’ Christian Fellowship. An article by one particular writer made me weep with enormous relief. It was such a help to recognise my own situation and know for the first time that my struggles were understood by another human being. Something of that same relief and peace of mind that comes from being understood is what I in turn hope to pass on here.
David died in 2009. I am writing this a decade later. So, our shared story is written from my viewpoint alone. I cannot consult with him and I am very conscious of the limitations of this. He would have been better at telling our story. I shall do my best and hope that his courage and buoyant personality will shine through between the lines, so that his voice will also be heard.
I am not writing exclusively for those who share our faith. David’s belief, which I share, is that in the person of Jesus we have the fullest revelation of God’s love for humanity and that each of us is known and deeply loved by God. It was only by keeping ourselves open to this love that David and I were given the strength to live through the 28 years of his illness.
The ‘why’ of suffering in our world is a huge question. It can be an obstacle to belief in the existence of a God who loves this world. There are no easy answers. Jesus himself suffered terribly, and the reality of human pain and suffering are not ignored in his teaching. In referring to issues of faith, I have tried to avoid exclusive Christian terminology and I have not assumed familiarity with those Scriptures to which I refer.
During the years of my life with David, some astonishing events occurred. I am still amazed by what happened to us. It is a story I feel compelled to share.
Extract – first two pages of the book
Chapter One
God of the valleys
May you be able to feel and understand, as all God’s children should, how long, how wide, how deep, and how high his love really is; and to experience this love for yourselves, though it is so great that you will never see the end of it or fully know or understand it.
Paul’s letter to the Ephesians 3:18–19, TLB
It was a happy Saturday morning in March 1982, sunny and bright, when I set off from home, not knowing that I was about to meet my future husband for the first time.
My diary told me that it was the first day of spring. I was on my way to Wales with my dog Molly for a weekend with my brother. Having caught the coach from Exeter, I travelled to Bristol bus station where a connecting coach would take me on the rest of my journey into south Wales. I knew there would be a lengthy wait at Bristol and so I had arranged to meet with an old friend from Exeter who now lived there. Mary and I enjoyed a chat over cups of bus station coffee and there was so much news to exchange and laughter to share that I became the last passenger to climb on board when the connecting coach was ready to leave.
I showed my ticket to the driver and edged down the aisle. There were passengers at all the window seats and there were no double seats free. I began to lower myself to sit beside a rather wide lady when I realised that it would be a tight squeeze to fit me and my bags and my dog in what was left of that space. So, without looking to see who was sitting in the window seat behind her, I shuffled another step backwards and slipped into that vacant aisle seat instead. Only then did I realise that I was next to the man with the long hair and beard whom I had glimpsed striding through the crowd, a big rucksack on his back, while I had been talking with Mary by the coffee machine. I was not to know that when he saw me get on the coach, he had moved his bag off the vacant seat beside him in the hope that I might sit there. Now I apologised for the dog and all my bags.
‘So, how far are you travelling?’ the stranger asked me. I thought, ‘Oh, what a lovely voice!’ I didn’t know it then but my answer could have been, ‘A long, long way. In fact, to the end of the second mile with you!’
To ‘go the second (or extra) mile’ with someone needing assistance is a phrase used by Jesus as an illustration in his teaching (see Matthew 5:41). (The Romans were the occupying force in the country at this time. Soldiers had the legal right to ask a citizen to help carry burdens for
only one mile.)
How could David or I, while on that coach journey, possibly have imagined that Jesus himself would speak to us personally and would one night in the future, in very different circumstances, ask us if we would go ‘the second mile’ for him?
How to order a copy of the book now
Or contact your local book shop and order quoting:
ISBN 978-1-9191816-0-8
“He Dances With Wheels” will be published on 12 January 2026 but is available to pre-order before this date.
‘”He Dances With Wheels” is a profound account of a couple navigating together the disabling effects of MS over 28 years of marriage. Above all, it is a love story which resonates with the profound mutual respect and affection shared by David and Glynda. It is eloquently written and compelling, drawing from Glynda’s notes written over nearly three decades which give glimpses of her daily life with David. Readers are given a unique insight into challenges usually hidden from sight in the private places of ordinary homes, enabling those who follow David and Glynda on this path of progressive disability to feel less alone.
‘The battles faced by Glynda in her caring role are shared honestly – battles with her own energy and resilience, and battles to get the right care for David. Battles also with doubt in her Christian faith as she went through a bitter ‘dark night of the soul’. Carers reading the book will identify with so much of what Glynda shares and be encouraged by her to look after their own health and wellbeing.
‘The account of David’s response to his MS is deeply moving and inspiring. He was a faithful support and source of wisdom for Glynda even as his limitations grew. He sought to encourage others and was unsurprisingly dear to the care staff who worked with him. Most of all, his faith and spiritual life continued to deepen despite all that a life with MS brought.
‘Glynda shares reflections from Scripture and theology to shed light on the experiences she and David shared in ways that will help readers deepen their understanding of how suffering can bring us nearer to Christ, even through seasons when we doubt God exists.’
‘Through everything Glynda and David’s love for one another never wavered and their playful humour and shared love of music remained. Parts of the book are difficult to read as we recognise the intense pain they went through, but ultimately this is a hopeful story of love enduring between two people and of God at work in and through them. Glynda acknowledges hers is the tale of just one couple, and every person living with disability has their own story, but what a story this is!’
Julia Burton-Jones
This is an extraordinary story of love and faith, resilience and vulnerability, answers to prayers, joy and grief.
David and Glynda fall in love and get married. Their bond as husband and wife grows stronger and stronger over the years. But… there is a big But. David had already been diagnosed with MS when they married, and in this book, Glynda shares how, together, she and David faced the progression of the condition, and she became David’s carer.
For all the struggles and heartache, there is not a hint of self-pity in the book. David’s spirit and faith shine through as he uncomplainingly accepts the increasing limitations brought about by MS – all the time finding strength in his unshakable belief that God loves him and is working His purpose out. And Glynda is at his side throughout. Remarkably, there is much joy and humour in the book. Glynda says it was a privilege to care for David, and her love and dedication never falter. It came as a cost, though, and Glenda does not shy away from it. She tellingly writes in the book:
“For the purpose of this book, I have selected where God seemed very present and when we felt him strengthening us. However, although my struggle was nothing compared to David’s, between those welcome uplifting spiritual experiences, there was for me as the carer the humdrum day after day, year after year, of exhausting routine.”
This book is both honest and uplifting. It will speak to many carers, who do their best in incredibly difficult circumstances, and yet are so often ‘invisible’ to others. It is also a timely reminder to us as a society that carers deserve our admiration and our support – much much more than they currently receive.
Bénédicte Scholefield
Part of David’s letter to a friend in 1985
One of David’s friends was experiencing difficulties. Although at the time of writing this letter David had very serious health problems and griefs of his own, he hardly touches on these, choosing rather to try and encourage his friend by sharing how coming to faith has helped him.
WHEELS FOR THE WORLD
Any profit from publishing HE DANCES WITH WHEELS will be donated to WHEELS FOR THE WORLD. As a ministry of the charity THROUGH THE ROOF, WFTW refurbishes used wheelchairs. Donated used wheelchairs and other mobility aids become like new. These are then taken to disabled people in low-income countries where very few people who need one have a wheelchair. Each wheelchair is professionally fitted for each recipient by WFTW team members.
The following article is reproduced, with permission, from the Summer 2024 issue of “Vital Link”, the newsletter of THROUGH THE ROOF.
For more information see: www.throughtheroof.org